Thursday, May 26, 2011

Until there is no more breath

All day I was reading Matthew 15:21-28 about the faith of the Canaanite woman.  Here is a mother like me.  She loves her daughter.  She takes seriously her job of helping, protecting and mothering this child.  It doesn't say how old the daughter is and it doesn't matter.  That is what a mom does until there is no more breath in her.

Her daughter is ill (demon possessed).  My daughter is ill (possessed by some thing no one is sure what to do about.  The options are limited.  Doctors knowledge is limited.  So just like the canaanite woman, I am going to the Great Physician.  Please join me.

She cries, it says, for mercy - "have mercy on me".  I cry for the same, have mercy on me as I fall on my face before You Lord.  Have mercy, have mercy!  It is my duty to relentlessly petition God for Brooke.  I feel exhausted yet until there is no more breath in me, I will cry out "have mercy".

This story of the canaanite woman gives me hope.  Jesus' mission was to bring the good news to the Jews.  Yet He took the time to go to a Gentile city to meet this Gentile woman.  It shows His love, His compassion.  She is an intercessor - like me.  Her daughters' needs become her needs - like me.  She is dedicated, filled with perseverance.  I pray for that dedication, for her perseverance.  Run the race to the end.  Do not give up - persevere, persevere.

She is humble (something I am working on).  She knows her place, she accepts her low status before the King of Kings but she continues to ask, to cry out to beg "have mercy, heal my child".

I am weeping as I write this.  I want a healing for Brooke and I want it now!  Is it to much to ask?  Will it be granted?  Have mercy and heal my child.  Have mercy and take her pain away.  Have mercy and give her hope. Restore her body, bring forth a miracle and do it now, Lord Jesus!

You are my God, my Savior. You are the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Prince of Peace the Great I Am.  We worship You!  We cling to You for You are God!  There is no one like You!

Here is the update on Brooke:  Tomorrow (thursday) evening at 8:00 p.m. Dr. Adachi will do a traecheotomy on Brooke.  She explained it will be complexed.  She is anticipating much swelling in the area and it will take a long while for her to be able to swallow or talk.  Remember everyone, she said Brooke is a complex case.  They will also have to put in a feeding tube through her nose.

Brooke is emotionally devastated.  I could see the depression and fear!  She wrote this morning "why didn't you let me die".  This is not Brooke.

My heart is aching right now.  I try to hold back the tears.  Tex and I try to be very positive.  This is going to be a long journey.  There will be much changes.  There will be much physical pain involved for Brooke.  She will once again have to adjust her hopes and dreams.

I will pray until there is no more breath in me.  I will be here for her until there is no more breath in me.  I will not stop petitioning and asking God for mercy until there is no more breath in me.  I will be her mother until there is no more breath in me.

I love You Lord. You are my strength, my rock, my fortress & deliverer.  I take refuge in you.  I call upon You who is worthy to be praised.

Pray my fellow friends.  Pray for a healing. Pray that God would intervene in a miraculous way. Pray for His peace over Brooke and that He would speak clearly to her.  Pray until there is no more breath in you.

1 comment:

  1. My heart and prayers go out to you. I cannot imagine or even begin to understand the pain, sorrow, and heartache you are experiencing during this time. I can’t comprehend this but I do know someone who can understand your pain and sorrow. His name is Jesus and I know that He is the One who is holding your hand and sustaining you. He is the Rock you are standing on, and it’s very evident to all that you are abiding in faith, hope, and love.

    Romans 8:34 tells us that Jesus is at the right hand of God, and makes intercession for you! He knows the right things to pray for Brooke and all that concerns you and your family. That’s such a good reminder to me because so often, we just don’t know how to pray or have the words to pray. “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and what you are going through in these writings. God has gifted you in this area! May God continue to pour out His Spirit on you and give you abundant grace, peace and mercy. “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” Eph. 3:20-21
    love you and praying, Karen