Sunday, January 15, 2012


Just when we were cruising along in life, adjusting to the changes with Brooke a bombshell hit.  On wednesday, 1/11, I went to the ER and found out, that I had three substantial blockages in my heart!  Never, never, never did I suspect my heart was the problem.  My cholesterol was in normal ranges but something caused these blockages.  One blockage was 100% which was in the main artery - one of the worst scenarios.  Other two blockages were 60 & 70 %.

As I lay in that hospital weighing options, the only thing I could think of was all the things we have put off doing together.  Nothing else came to mind.  I just thought my husband and I were waiting to do this or that, take care of this or that, enjoy our time together - no one else mattered.  Yes, my children came to mind and I thought of how empty their lives would be without me but mainly it was my soul-mate.

After two nights at Pali Momi Hospital they sent me via ambulance to Straub to have Open ByPass surgery.  Wow, did that scare me.  I don't care how good a doctor is, what the success rate is, how you will be completely out, other peoples success stories are told you; you still fear the unknown for you.
The surgeon talked about putting a stent in my heart to open the arteries.  It may work , it may not.  But the procedure is less invasive, recovery time is quicker and if need be-they can still do the open heart surgery.  We opted for the stent procedure.  So at around 8:30 p.m. on friday the 13th, I went into the surgery room and what I thought was moments later, awoke in my hospital room.  There wasn't much pain except for the crink in my neck from sleeping so soundly.  Tex was asleep by my side.

There is much medicine to take now - all those pills you hear about on tv, pavlix, lipotor, etc blood clot prevention medicine, etc.  I feel like a walking pharmacy. And, there is that dark cloud always looming around me "will this work or not".  It is fear, and as much as I try to put it behind me, no one can possibly expect me not to have some.

As I write this, Tex is laying next to me watching football.  It is a pleasant time, I would hate to leave him on this earth, I would hate to leave Brooke and Trey, but it is out of my hands.  I can hear a little voice saying "when given lemons, make lemonade" - wish it were that simple.

Bear with me during this trial...I know God is faithful, He holds me in the palm of His hand, He is in charge BUT I am a real flesh and blood woman and it will take me a while to make "lemonade" out of all this.

Right now, I'm home, in my own bed, being able to take as many showers as I like, looking over Waimea Valley and enjoying the beautiful view and most importantly I have my children and my husband right here.