Everyone has been asking when am I going to post another blog. Well I finally have something worth sharing.
On February 10th I went into the hospital once again to have ONE stent put in my heart. During the procedure the doctor noted that there were two other blockages that needed stents now. While he was putting in the last stent, some placque was dislodged and I suffered a heart attack. I am extremely grateful to the Lord that HE did not allow me to see, hear or feel any of this. Usually the medicine they give you for "twilight" sleep allows you to hear them talking to you. Any way they worked fast and pumped some type of medicine through my heart to get it going again. After the procedure the doctor shared all this with Tex. Tex said the hospital personnel in the procedure room including the doctor walked out of the room with "grave" looks on their face. They decided that I needed to be put in ICU that night and hopefully go home the next day if all went well.
A few days later while in the cardiologist office, my doctor related to me that they had NEVER had anyone have a heart attack during the procedure and recover 100% as well as I did. Again, I praise God for getting me through this. At first it didn't sink in to me. He was holding my hand while telling me what had happened to me. The night before I had been asking the Lord if there was anyone that I had been coming in contact with that needed to have me share the good news with them. So what do I blurt out to my doctor right after he tells me I survived another heart attack? "Do you go to church?" He said not, but kept holding my hand. I then say "no wonder God has me coming back to you". I then proceeded to tell him all Jesus had for him . That God holds him in the palm of his hand, that God has gifted him with much talent and that HE wants him to know it came from Him and that HE wants him to use his gifts for Him. God wants him to get to know him, that he loves him and that he was created in his image. That's all I shared. I didn't tell him the full gospel - this was all God wanted me to share. I was floored that God was using me and extremely nervous! My doctor thanked me for sharing and then left the room. Is that it God? My mind raced with all kinds of thoughts - what an idiot, I didn't ask him if he wanted to receive Christ, he must think I've lost my mind, what now?
A few days later I was sitting around - I do alot of that lately - asking God what is the trial for? How do you want me to use this? What can I learn? What do you want me to do with all this time I have right now to just stay home? What, what , what????? And as faithful as God always is, eventho I was asking why and what, He still spoke to me, a woman who needed a touch from her Savior. He took me to His Word. 2Corinthians 3 where Paul is speaking of how we are ministers of a New Covenant. That our confidence is knowing that Christ lives in us, we are not adequate to do what He calls us to do but we have this hope in Christ. Then, there in verse 12 was God speaking to me..."Therefore having such a HOPE, we use great boldness in our speech"..... that was God telling me how to use this trial. When He tells me to be bold - do it - you don't have to be eloquent - He will give me the words - I just need to have BOLDNESS!! Yikes!
Do you need to be bold for Christ? When He tells you to share His love with someone do you automatically respond....first time obedience? Or do you many times, like me, think "no way". When He tells you to stand for righteousness do you speak with boldness? I want to encourage all of you who read this, to remember that we have HOPE to go through trials, disappointments, rejections and life itself because Christ is our HOPE.
Today as I read 1Co.3:12 again I thought, Christ is asking me to be bold in my speech. After all He has done for me can I do anything less than boldness?
I love each and everyone of you!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Lemonade????
Just when we were cruising along in life, adjusting to the changes with Brooke a bombshell hit. On wednesday, 1/11, I went to the ER and found out, that I had three substantial blockages in my heart! Never, never, never did I suspect my heart was the problem. My cholesterol was in normal ranges but something caused these blockages. One blockage was 100% which was in the main artery - one of the worst scenarios. Other two blockages were 60 & 70 %.
As I lay in that hospital weighing options, the only thing I could think of was all the things we have put off doing together. Nothing else came to mind. I just thought my husband and I were waiting to do this or that, take care of this or that, enjoy our time together - no one else mattered. Yes, my children came to mind and I thought of how empty their lives would be without me but mainly it was my soul-mate.
After two nights at Pali Momi Hospital they sent me via ambulance to Straub to have Open ByPass surgery. Wow, did that scare me. I don't care how good a doctor is, what the success rate is, how you will be completely out, other peoples success stories are told you; you still fear the unknown for you.
The surgeon talked about putting a stent in my heart to open the arteries. It may work , it may not. But the procedure is less invasive, recovery time is quicker and if need be-they can still do the open heart surgery. We opted for the stent procedure. So at around 8:30 p.m. on friday the 13th, I went into the surgery room and what I thought was moments later, awoke in my hospital room. There wasn't much pain except for the crink in my neck from sleeping so soundly. Tex was asleep by my side.
There is much medicine to take now - all those pills you hear about on tv, pavlix, lipotor, etc blood clot prevention medicine, etc. I feel like a walking pharmacy. And, there is that dark cloud always looming around me "will this work or not". It is fear, and as much as I try to put it behind me, no one can possibly expect me not to have some.
As I write this, Tex is laying next to me watching football. It is a pleasant time, I would hate to leave him on this earth, I would hate to leave Brooke and Trey, but it is out of my hands. I can hear a little voice saying "when given lemons, make lemonade" - wish it were that simple.
Bear with me during this trial...I know God is faithful, He holds me in the palm of His hand, He is in charge BUT I am a real flesh and blood woman and it will take me a while to make "lemonade" out of all this.
Right now, I'm home, in my own bed, being able to take as many showers as I like, looking over Waimea Valley and enjoying the beautiful view and most importantly I have my children and my husband right here.
As I lay in that hospital weighing options, the only thing I could think of was all the things we have put off doing together. Nothing else came to mind. I just thought my husband and I were waiting to do this or that, take care of this or that, enjoy our time together - no one else mattered. Yes, my children came to mind and I thought of how empty their lives would be without me but mainly it was my soul-mate.
After two nights at Pali Momi Hospital they sent me via ambulance to Straub to have Open ByPass surgery. Wow, did that scare me. I don't care how good a doctor is, what the success rate is, how you will be completely out, other peoples success stories are told you; you still fear the unknown for you.
The surgeon talked about putting a stent in my heart to open the arteries. It may work , it may not. But the procedure is less invasive, recovery time is quicker and if need be-they can still do the open heart surgery. We opted for the stent procedure. So at around 8:30 p.m. on friday the 13th, I went into the surgery room and what I thought was moments later, awoke in my hospital room. There wasn't much pain except for the crink in my neck from sleeping so soundly. Tex was asleep by my side.
There is much medicine to take now - all those pills you hear about on tv, pavlix, lipotor, etc blood clot prevention medicine, etc. I feel like a walking pharmacy. And, there is that dark cloud always looming around me "will this work or not". It is fear, and as much as I try to put it behind me, no one can possibly expect me not to have some.
As I write this, Tex is laying next to me watching football. It is a pleasant time, I would hate to leave him on this earth, I would hate to leave Brooke and Trey, but it is out of my hands. I can hear a little voice saying "when given lemons, make lemonade" - wish it were that simple.
Bear with me during this trial...I know God is faithful, He holds me in the palm of His hand, He is in charge BUT I am a real flesh and blood woman and it will take me a while to make "lemonade" out of all this.
Right now, I'm home, in my own bed, being able to take as many showers as I like, looking over Waimea Valley and enjoying the beautiful view and most importantly I have my children and my husband right here.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Reflecting
We (Tex, Brooke & I) tried to get our Christmas shopping done, however, we weren't successful. But I didn't really care. We were together and I enjoyed every minute of it. As we were waiting outside of the motorcycle shop for Tex, I turned around and just stared at Brooke as she munched on a Kilani Bakery brownie. Precious moments. Some times in the rush of trying to get it all done, we miss out on the simple things - people. So the cookies aren't all baked, the decorating is partly done, the rest I put away, the lights on the outside of the house never got put up and the gifts I intended to get didn't quite make it under the tree but...God has given us another Christmas together and that's all that counts!
2011 has been a year of triumphs and tears but this Christmas we are rejoicing that we can sit together, hug together and sing those carols together.
When I reflect back on 2011, I see how God was turning us down this path, blocking our way here, and shining a light down another way. HE brought friends from the mainland to visit and love on Brooke. Trish and Julie you both came at specific times when we really needed your friendship. How awesome is our God to have allowed both of you to come at different times and bless us so much. God allowed our good friend Leslie to stay a few more months (through some of our roughest months) in Hawaii before having to move back to Texas. She loved on us, prayed and cried with me. Another angel God allowed into our lives at just the right moment. We got to take Brooke to Portland in Sept and see Hanson in concert and while there we got to visit with old friends Gary & Bella, and the Agnors! Those visits were so special to us. Those coffee dates where we chatted with Gary & Bella and how we were able to be with Bella as she was at one of her doctor appointments. The Agnors opened their home to us for a fun night and Tex & Dave got to go to Cabela's and have guy time. Breanna, Brooke and I got to traverse around Portland for shopping. Special, special times.
Can't forget those hospital stays. Although we don't want a repeat performance in 2012, we met some wonderful doctors, nurses, therapists,& technicians. They added hope to our lives, and to those that were "cranky" - well God showed us how to love on them! We got to compare what different hospitals had to offer. Queen's had the better sleeping arrangements for us parents - Pali Momi needs work on that area, BUT Pali Momi had valet parking for only $4 for all day- Queen's was $15!! We liked Pali Momi best eventho we had to sleep in Brooke's wheelchair - which makes for an achey body. Pali Momi had Pearlridge Shopping Center next door which gave us different eating options. No matter how good the food in a hospital cafeteria may be, after a few meals there you long for something different. We realized as hospital personnel came in and out of our lives that the hospitals are a BIG mission field. We are thankful for all friends who came to the hospital for visits, brought food and listened as I lamented and cried. Thank you to Mike and Maria who let us stay in their downstairs bedroom so we didn't have to drive to the North Shore so much. All these angels were provided by our God who saw our needs.
Speaking of mission fields, God allowed us to take Brooke for two weeks to the Philippines. It was our fourth visit and Brooke's second. After being off the ventilator in July, we left in October for two weeks on Boracay and Panay. What an awesome trip. Brooke was a trooper. She never complained once about being uncomfortable and stretched and our team could see God's awesome power first hand. Our team was the best ever. Everyone helped in so many areas, we never had to ask for help they all just stepped up to do whatever needed to be done. They were committed and they knew that God had called each and everyone of us to Boracay. Leilani & Frank left behind their son who had just found out he had pancreatic cancer, Randall & Marlene left their fathers who they care for in the loving hands of others, Kainoa who just turned 20 put his trust in a group of people he had never really traveled with, Sharon & Diane came along as single women waiting to see how God was going to use them, Gregg had to leave behind his company in the hands of others trusting God would take care of everything, Scott had made a commitment to Brooke the year before that if she went he would go - it took a year but he came along and God used him so much, Lyn & Derek left behind their new grandson but saw how God brought so many little children for them to love on, Gwen & Manny left Gwen's mom who was very ill because they too heard God say go. And God brought Darwin & Connie from Calvary Chapel Pearl Harbor to join our team and what an asset they were! God spoke and said "take Elizabeth to care for Brooke" and we obeyed and guess what? In January Elizabeth will be a full time missionary to the church on Boracay! God had to get her there so she would hear Him speak! All that way, at every village, at every feeding, at every encounter with someone we saw God's hand guiding us, protecting us, providing for us. Brooke grew, we all grew in our faith - 2011 Mission Trip to Boracay was a trip we will never forget.
God answered our prayers to bring our son Trey home to live for a while. It is wonderful to see how Brooke lights up when he and she interact with each other. Brother and sister - together. Again, God's hand is on this. We have been able to share the gospel with each of his friends that come through our gate. God still uses us over and over again.
Tex is now home full-time - retired at last from the Fire Department. I am enjoying our time together. Brooke is ecstatic and feels so much more comfortable with his big arms around to lift her . She doesn't always appreciate his teasing, but they do share the same sense of humor!
Thank you Lord, for providing so much at each step we took. You stretched us, even though we didn't always like the stretching, reflecting back we see that Your hand was guiding us each and every way. You never let go. Reflecting back reminds us who is really in charge and who sits on the throne! Take the time to reflect back on 2011, bet you'll see God !
2011 has been a year of triumphs and tears but this Christmas we are rejoicing that we can sit together, hug together and sing those carols together.
When I reflect back on 2011, I see how God was turning us down this path, blocking our way here, and shining a light down another way. HE brought friends from the mainland to visit and love on Brooke. Trish and Julie you both came at specific times when we really needed your friendship. How awesome is our God to have allowed both of you to come at different times and bless us so much. God allowed our good friend Leslie to stay a few more months (through some of our roughest months) in Hawaii before having to move back to Texas. She loved on us, prayed and cried with me. Another angel God allowed into our lives at just the right moment. We got to take Brooke to Portland in Sept and see Hanson in concert and while there we got to visit with old friends Gary & Bella, and the Agnors! Those visits were so special to us. Those coffee dates where we chatted with Gary & Bella and how we were able to be with Bella as she was at one of her doctor appointments. The Agnors opened their home to us for a fun night and Tex & Dave got to go to Cabela's and have guy time. Breanna, Brooke and I got to traverse around Portland for shopping. Special, special times.
Can't forget those hospital stays. Although we don't want a repeat performance in 2012, we met some wonderful doctors, nurses, therapists,& technicians. They added hope to our lives, and to those that were "cranky" - well God showed us how to love on them! We got to compare what different hospitals had to offer. Queen's had the better sleeping arrangements for us parents - Pali Momi needs work on that area, BUT Pali Momi had valet parking for only $4 for all day- Queen's was $15!! We liked Pali Momi best eventho we had to sleep in Brooke's wheelchair - which makes for an achey body. Pali Momi had Pearlridge Shopping Center next door which gave us different eating options. No matter how good the food in a hospital cafeteria may be, after a few meals there you long for something different. We realized as hospital personnel came in and out of our lives that the hospitals are a BIG mission field. We are thankful for all friends who came to the hospital for visits, brought food and listened as I lamented and cried. Thank you to Mike and Maria who let us stay in their downstairs bedroom so we didn't have to drive to the North Shore so much. All these angels were provided by our God who saw our needs.
Speaking of mission fields, God allowed us to take Brooke for two weeks to the Philippines. It was our fourth visit and Brooke's second. After being off the ventilator in July, we left in October for two weeks on Boracay and Panay. What an awesome trip. Brooke was a trooper. She never complained once about being uncomfortable and stretched and our team could see God's awesome power first hand. Our team was the best ever. Everyone helped in so many areas, we never had to ask for help they all just stepped up to do whatever needed to be done. They were committed and they knew that God had called each and everyone of us to Boracay. Leilani & Frank left behind their son who had just found out he had pancreatic cancer, Randall & Marlene left their fathers who they care for in the loving hands of others, Kainoa who just turned 20 put his trust in a group of people he had never really traveled with, Sharon & Diane came along as single women waiting to see how God was going to use them, Gregg had to leave behind his company in the hands of others trusting God would take care of everything, Scott had made a commitment to Brooke the year before that if she went he would go - it took a year but he came along and God used him so much, Lyn & Derek left behind their new grandson but saw how God brought so many little children for them to love on, Gwen & Manny left Gwen's mom who was very ill because they too heard God say go. And God brought Darwin & Connie from Calvary Chapel Pearl Harbor to join our team and what an asset they were! God spoke and said "take Elizabeth to care for Brooke" and we obeyed and guess what? In January Elizabeth will be a full time missionary to the church on Boracay! God had to get her there so she would hear Him speak! All that way, at every village, at every feeding, at every encounter with someone we saw God's hand guiding us, protecting us, providing for us. Brooke grew, we all grew in our faith - 2011 Mission Trip to Boracay was a trip we will never forget.
God answered our prayers to bring our son Trey home to live for a while. It is wonderful to see how Brooke lights up when he and she interact with each other. Brother and sister - together. Again, God's hand is on this. We have been able to share the gospel with each of his friends that come through our gate. God still uses us over and over again.
Tex is now home full-time - retired at last from the Fire Department. I am enjoying our time together. Brooke is ecstatic and feels so much more comfortable with his big arms around to lift her . She doesn't always appreciate his teasing, but they do share the same sense of humor!
Thank you Lord, for providing so much at each step we took. You stretched us, even though we didn't always like the stretching, reflecting back we see that Your hand was guiding us each and every way. You never let go. Reflecting back reminds us who is really in charge and who sits on the throne! Take the time to reflect back on 2011, bet you'll see God !
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Beast is Back
I haven't blogged in a while. After getting back from our mission trip to the Philippines on 10/15, I have been battling one virus after another. And along with those viruses came a bad case of vertigo. My first experience with that and it was terrible. My heart goes out to any one who has ever had to deal with the room swirling around just by any little move of your head! I am on the mend, feeling a little physically better but now my poor husband is battling a virus he can't seem to shake. What next? Well read on....
My thoughts are a bit jumbled today. A few days ago we took Brooke to her pulmonologist as she has begun sleeping more, her voice is changing, the puffiness is back and again her oxygen level dropped significantly. She is once again on oxygen all day and while her oxygen saturation level is now up; the other symptoms are back. What does this mean? That the carbon dioxide levels are increasing in her tiny body and this is not good. So we are at the doctors only to hear what we've been dreading "we knew this would eventually happen. It is the progression of the beast (pulmonary hypertension)". The only thought that raced through my mind was "this is the beginning of the end of her life on earth". We cried - yep - right there in that office, all three of us cried.
We are stepping onto that roller coaster once again. A good moment, a bad moment, high and exhilarated and low and disappointed.
I keep the Christmas Tree lights on all the time we are in our home - day or night. It reminds me that Jesus is the light. He brings light into the darkness, He will direct our paths, He will be with us on the ups and downs of the roller coaster, He will wipe away the numerous tears we are shedding.
We are grateful God has brought our son Trey home. Brooke is especially happy and said on Thanksgiving that the one thing she was grateful for was that her brother was home again. I am filled with joy that the Lord brought him home during this time. He is able to spend time with Brooke and that brings her joy. Tears fill my eyes each time she asks him to lift her up and he so willingly does it. Or when she teases him and he laughs and banters back to her.
Many may say"how do you cope" or "you must be used to this already". Well, no I'm not used to this and how do I cope? I am doing what I heard a wise man (our Pastor Mike) say once "When things around you don't make sense, go back to what does - the Word of God". I am clinging to His promises and I know He is allowing all of this. It doesn't always make sense to me, for His ways are not my ways; but I do know that He loves Brooke even more than me. Is my heart broken? YES. Do I cry daily? YES. Do I think her suffering is unfair? YES. Do I want a miracle healing? YES. If it doesn't come will I still believe in Jesus? YES.
What do I need? Your prayers.
My thoughts are a bit jumbled today. A few days ago we took Brooke to her pulmonologist as she has begun sleeping more, her voice is changing, the puffiness is back and again her oxygen level dropped significantly. She is once again on oxygen all day and while her oxygen saturation level is now up; the other symptoms are back. What does this mean? That the carbon dioxide levels are increasing in her tiny body and this is not good. So we are at the doctors only to hear what we've been dreading "we knew this would eventually happen. It is the progression of the beast (pulmonary hypertension)". The only thought that raced through my mind was "this is the beginning of the end of her life on earth". We cried - yep - right there in that office, all three of us cried.
We are stepping onto that roller coaster once again. A good moment, a bad moment, high and exhilarated and low and disappointed.
I keep the Christmas Tree lights on all the time we are in our home - day or night. It reminds me that Jesus is the light. He brings light into the darkness, He will direct our paths, He will be with us on the ups and downs of the roller coaster, He will wipe away the numerous tears we are shedding.
We are grateful God has brought our son Trey home. Brooke is especially happy and said on Thanksgiving that the one thing she was grateful for was that her brother was home again. I am filled with joy that the Lord brought him home during this time. He is able to spend time with Brooke and that brings her joy. Tears fill my eyes each time she asks him to lift her up and he so willingly does it. Or when she teases him and he laughs and banters back to her.
Many may say"how do you cope" or "you must be used to this already". Well, no I'm not used to this and how do I cope? I am doing what I heard a wise man (our Pastor Mike) say once "When things around you don't make sense, go back to what does - the Word of God". I am clinging to His promises and I know He is allowing all of this. It doesn't always make sense to me, for His ways are not my ways; but I do know that He loves Brooke even more than me. Is my heart broken? YES. Do I cry daily? YES. Do I think her suffering is unfair? YES. Do I want a miracle healing? YES. If it doesn't come will I still believe in Jesus? YES.
What do I need? Your prayers.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Child-like
We recently took Brooke to Portland to attend a Hanson concert. This group is her absolute favorite and she was thrilled beyond words to go and see them!
It was my first trip to Portland and I so enjoyed the whole journey. I realized I enjoyed myself so much because I was looking at everything with child-like eyes. Oooooh look at that! My that's beautiful. Can you imagine such beauty?! Those were just a some of my thoughts.
I got to thinking about looking at each new day with child-like eyes and living each day with child-like faith. You know that freshness and excitement. Like a child who completely trusts her parents as she places her hand in her parents hand when she crosses the street. No worries, she simply follows along. She doesn't question, she just obeys and she anticipates with excitement what's at the other side of the street!
As we ready ourselves to leave Hawaii for God's mission trip to the Philippines, I think of our team who has put their trust and faith in Jesus Christ. We have a parent whose son is battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer, but she is leaving her adult son with good caregivers and in the hands of the great comforter Jesus Christ. We have a husband and wife who have responsibilities of caregiving their sick parents and they too are trusting others to care for them; but knowing full well Jehovah Jireh the great provider will meet all their needs. We have men who are entrusting their companies to the hands of others knowing
Jesus holds their companies in the palm of His hands. There are wives going because their husband have heard the Lord speak and they are willingly going to support him because they know God has called them to be the "helpmate" of their husband. We have several people traveling with on-going health issues, others with uncertainties in their future and others leaving behind children, grandchildren, homes & jobs. But all stepping out in faith for they know Jesus has called them.
This Sunday in church we asked our daughter Brooke why she was going to the Philippines. She simply said,"because God told me to go". Child-like faith. Then we asked her , but it's not a handicap accessible country. You won't have your motorized wheelchair or your hospital bed. It will not be easy. And she said "I don't do easy, I just do possible. For all things are possible with Christ who strengthens me". Child-like - because God said go and in His Word He said He'll take care of her.
Many people are so excited to see spiritual awakening in Brooke; but how about our own walk with the Lord? Do you just step out when He calls you to do something? Do you hesitate to ask Him to send you somewhere because of fear? Do you allow that fear to deprive you of what He has ahead? Do you want a life controlled by you? Do you constantly have to have all your ducks in a row,your scheduled life, your i's dotted and your t's crossed. Are you waiting for the perfect timing - when the kids are older, when the house is paid for, when, when, when.
A good friend and I used to say we don't want to become "stodgy" women. Let's step into a child-like
life knowing that as you cross each roadway provided by Jesus Christ, He is holding your hand. As you step through each opened door, He is on the other side to greet you. As you get on a plane to some where He has chosen, He will be with you every step of the way.
Please keep our team in your prayers. Pray for good health, lots of spiritual growth, opportunities to share the gospel, open hearts, continued unity on our team, God's protection each and every step of the way and when we return we will use what He has shown us to bring glory to His name.
It was my first trip to Portland and I so enjoyed the whole journey. I realized I enjoyed myself so much because I was looking at everything with child-like eyes. Oooooh look at that! My that's beautiful. Can you imagine such beauty?! Those were just a some of my thoughts.
I got to thinking about looking at each new day with child-like eyes and living each day with child-like faith. You know that freshness and excitement. Like a child who completely trusts her parents as she places her hand in her parents hand when she crosses the street. No worries, she simply follows along. She doesn't question, she just obeys and she anticipates with excitement what's at the other side of the street!
As we ready ourselves to leave Hawaii for God's mission trip to the Philippines, I think of our team who has put their trust and faith in Jesus Christ. We have a parent whose son is battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer, but she is leaving her adult son with good caregivers and in the hands of the great comforter Jesus Christ. We have a husband and wife who have responsibilities of caregiving their sick parents and they too are trusting others to care for them; but knowing full well Jehovah Jireh the great provider will meet all their needs. We have men who are entrusting their companies to the hands of others knowing
Jesus holds their companies in the palm of His hands. There are wives going because their husband have heard the Lord speak and they are willingly going to support him because they know God has called them to be the "helpmate" of their husband. We have several people traveling with on-going health issues, others with uncertainties in their future and others leaving behind children, grandchildren, homes & jobs. But all stepping out in faith for they know Jesus has called them.
This Sunday in church we asked our daughter Brooke why she was going to the Philippines. She simply said,"because God told me to go". Child-like faith. Then we asked her , but it's not a handicap accessible country. You won't have your motorized wheelchair or your hospital bed. It will not be easy. And she said "I don't do easy, I just do possible. For all things are possible with Christ who strengthens me". Child-like - because God said go and in His Word He said He'll take care of her.
Many people are so excited to see spiritual awakening in Brooke; but how about our own walk with the Lord? Do you just step out when He calls you to do something? Do you hesitate to ask Him to send you somewhere because of fear? Do you allow that fear to deprive you of what He has ahead? Do you want a life controlled by you? Do you constantly have to have all your ducks in a row,your scheduled life, your i's dotted and your t's crossed. Are you waiting for the perfect timing - when the kids are older, when the house is paid for, when, when, when.
A good friend and I used to say we don't want to become "stodgy" women. Let's step into a child-like
life knowing that as you cross each roadway provided by Jesus Christ, He is holding your hand. As you step through each opened door, He is on the other side to greet you. As you get on a plane to some where He has chosen, He will be with you every step of the way.
Please keep our team in your prayers. Pray for good health, lots of spiritual growth, opportunities to share the gospel, open hearts, continued unity on our team, God's protection each and every step of the way and when we return we will use what He has shown us to bring glory to His name.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Cupcakes
Today, September 16th, is my son Jeremy's 40th birthday. As I write the number 40 my mind goes to all the things I've missed. You see Jeremy was killed 24 years ago at the sweet age of 16. I've missed seeing him grow into a man. I've missed seeing him fall in love, choose a career and have grandchildren. Those are just a few things I've missed. The one biggest thing I miss is just him. Talking with him, hugging him, hearing him say "hi mom", seeing him. The things I miss all have to do with spending time with him.
If I would of had more time I could of or would of ____________________.
This is where cupcakes come to my mind. I remember while he was in elementary school it was the fad or custom to bring cupcakes to school when it was your child's birthday. That way the whole class could sing happy birthday and your child would be thrilled beyond words. Some moms would elaborately decorate those cupcakes and all the class would ooooooh and aaaaaah .You know those moms who go way overboard. They make the rest of us decorating challenged not artistic mothers green with envy as they turn ordinary cupcakes into works of art! :) I remember bringing chocolate cupcakes with blue frosting to school ONCE for Jeremy's birthday. I have pictures of him with a friend eating those cupcakes and having a big smile on his face with blue frosting covering his teeth. I did that ONCE. Do you know that shortly after I was told he was killed I remember thinking "I should have made more cupcakes".
I'm not sharing this because I want you to drop everything and spend more time with your children. In fact we devote way too much time to our children. I'm sharing this because I have learned through cupcakes that I don't want to miss what God has for me and my life.
Time is one of the main things God wants from us. He wants us to sit before Him, give Him the best of our days, ask Him what and how to accomplish what He has for us. We can't find out if it's cupcakes if we don't spend time with Him. God desires my fellowship and that takes precious time. After all He has done for me can I do anything less? I have learned that when I give Him the best of my time, He will show me exactly what to do with my time. And yes, there will be time for cupcakes.
Yes, I missed cupcake opportunities with Jeremy. I can never make up time not spent with him. But I can take what I've learned, share it with you, and hope that you and I will not miss the magnificent opportunities God has for us each and every day. Will you go with me before the Lord and ask Him - "what do you want me to do with today; who Lord do you want me to spend my time with; who should I call to comfort; who do you want me to make blue frosting cupcakes for?"
Let's allow God to direct our paths, not miss His opportunities for us, and enjoy the journey!
If I would of had more time I could of or would of ____________________.
This is where cupcakes come to my mind. I remember while he was in elementary school it was the fad or custom to bring cupcakes to school when it was your child's birthday. That way the whole class could sing happy birthday and your child would be thrilled beyond words. Some moms would elaborately decorate those cupcakes and all the class would ooooooh and aaaaaah .You know those moms who go way overboard. They make the rest of us decorating challenged not artistic mothers green with envy as they turn ordinary cupcakes into works of art! :) I remember bringing chocolate cupcakes with blue frosting to school ONCE for Jeremy's birthday. I have pictures of him with a friend eating those cupcakes and having a big smile on his face with blue frosting covering his teeth. I did that ONCE. Do you know that shortly after I was told he was killed I remember thinking "I should have made more cupcakes".
I'm not sharing this because I want you to drop everything and spend more time with your children. In fact we devote way too much time to our children. I'm sharing this because I have learned through cupcakes that I don't want to miss what God has for me and my life.
Time is one of the main things God wants from us. He wants us to sit before Him, give Him the best of our days, ask Him what and how to accomplish what He has for us. We can't find out if it's cupcakes if we don't spend time with Him. God desires my fellowship and that takes precious time. After all He has done for me can I do anything less? I have learned that when I give Him the best of my time, He will show me exactly what to do with my time. And yes, there will be time for cupcakes.
Yes, I missed cupcake opportunities with Jeremy. I can never make up time not spent with him. But I can take what I've learned, share it with you, and hope that you and I will not miss the magnificent opportunities God has for us each and every day. Will you go with me before the Lord and ask Him - "what do you want me to do with today; who Lord do you want me to spend my time with; who should I call to comfort; who do you want me to make blue frosting cupcakes for?"
Let's allow God to direct our paths, not miss His opportunities for us, and enjoy the journey!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Rejoice!!
It's been a while since I've posted. So much has happened in our lives. God has taken us down one path and now we're on another! Before I update you all on Brooke, let me tell you what God has shown me.
Philippians 4:4 says "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice"!
It's not always easy to rejoice in the Lord. Trials and tribulations come and we lose our focus that Jesus is our High Priest. He is the One who can identify with us as we go through each trial, each pain, each suffering and each temptation. But we are human. As a christian, I can beat myself up on "why can't I be victorious in all areas of my Life?" Why do I cry or lament or get filled with anger and despair? Why can't I just get it - that God is in control, HE knows best, HE will always be there for me. Sure, through the good times when everything in my life seems to be going smoothly - no bumps in the road, I can "rejoice in the Lord". But it's those times when I am weary, when I can't see past the circumstances, that I need a boost. I need some help.
In the Bible, it shows me that there are people just like me. Some times they're courageous and walk through life in total faith. Other times they cry out "I don't understand, or I'm afraid." That's where some one comes along to help. Moses had Aaron and Hur who held up his arms when he became weary. David had Jonathan to encourage him when He went through trial after trial. Naomi had Ruth who said "I'll stand by you in your time of despair". The apostles had one another. Like minded friends to call upon to pray for each other.
I so desire to be that kind of person. One who will come along side another to encourage, to pray with, to cry or laugh with. I want to be a Ruth, that will listen and comfort; or a Jonathan a faithful friend; or an Aaron and Hur who gives physical help when it is needed. More importantly, I want to be a woman who reminds others that God has not forgotten them, that His promises are for all of us, that His mercies are new every morning and that HE loves us and will never leave us!
On July 14th at 6:00 a.m. we took Brooke off the ventilator so she could go to the bathroom. We then returned her to bed, hooked her back on to the ventilator, as she wanted to sleep a few more hours. All was well. We then went into the kitchen where I began to use our vitamix machine to make us some smoothies. If you have ever used one of those machines, you know they make alot of noise. In between throwing different fruits into the vitamixer, Tex, who's hearing is questionable at times, said "stop I hear something". We could hear a faint "beep, beep, beep". We run into Brooke's room and she is motioning that she is drowning. I quickly disconnect the ventilator, and Tex is ready with the ambu bag to give her oxygen. As soon as I disconnect the ventilator from the trach tube, water comes running out! Water. That had never happened before and no one told us this could happen. We suction her get her breathing well and proceed to figure out what happened. Tex has to go to work, so I am alone to make the calls and get answers. I call the Respiratory Technician. She says she will come out and check the ventilator. In the meantime, the RN who was assigned to us for follow up shows up at the door. She is there to make sure all is going well. I tell her what happened and she says she has never heard of water coming out of the trach when you disconnect the ventilator. The respiratory woman shows up and the two of them go over the machine - top to bottom. Nothing wrong. No way water could get in there. They determine something must be wrong with the tracheostomy - may be a crack in it - but where did the water come from? They suggest I call Brooke's pulmonologist and get her all checked out. I do that and he suggests I get her down to the emergency room at Pali Momi.
We are now in the ER at Pali Momi - after xrays, blood work and four hours of waiting for all to be done our doctor shows up and says he wants her to spend a couple nights for observation to see how she does off the ventilator. Wow! But she and I hunker down at pali momi. It's a long uncomfortable night as I am trying to sleep in Brooke's wheelchair with my legs propped up on a chair - very very uncomfortable.
I stay awake all night watching the monitors, listening to the rhythmic beep and an occasional alarm - but all goes well. The next morning at around 7:15 the doctor comes in and says according to all the stats from the previous night she had a remarkably great night! Praise the Lord! (that's me saying that not him) He tells her he feels that the ventilator and tracheostomy is causing her more problems than good and that if she wants, he feels very comfortable removing the trach - WHAT? Queens told us a minimum of 6 months but highly doubtful as they felt she would be on the ventilator at night for the rest of her life! Brooke agrees, for some reason (God I believe), kept my mouth shut. The doctor proceeds to take out the trach - it took less than 5 seconds. Brooke says is it done? He says yes , and she begins to weep. Tears rolling down her cheeks. He gets all worried and asks if anything is sore or wrong and she says "no, nothing is wrong, I just have my life back". The nurse and doctor are quiet and leave the room quickly. She and I just cry and rejoice!!!!
Since July 14th her oxygen level has been in the high 90's which is normal and remarkable. She has not had to have any oxygen, although we have a few tanks in our home. She is not on any medication. She is breathing on her own and doing light exercising like walking, stretching and tomorrow she goes into the pool! It is a miracle.
Here is my take on all this - the water that came out of that trach. No one can tell us where it came from or how it got in there, but remember Jesus is the Living Water. He healed her. If it wasn't for that water she would still be hooked up to all those machines. Water - living water - healing water.
So join us in rejoicing!
Philippians 4:4 says "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice"!
It's not always easy to rejoice in the Lord. Trials and tribulations come and we lose our focus that Jesus is our High Priest. He is the One who can identify with us as we go through each trial, each pain, each suffering and each temptation. But we are human. As a christian, I can beat myself up on "why can't I be victorious in all areas of my Life?" Why do I cry or lament or get filled with anger and despair? Why can't I just get it - that God is in control, HE knows best, HE will always be there for me. Sure, through the good times when everything in my life seems to be going smoothly - no bumps in the road, I can "rejoice in the Lord". But it's those times when I am weary, when I can't see past the circumstances, that I need a boost. I need some help.
In the Bible, it shows me that there are people just like me. Some times they're courageous and walk through life in total faith. Other times they cry out "I don't understand, or I'm afraid." That's where some one comes along to help. Moses had Aaron and Hur who held up his arms when he became weary. David had Jonathan to encourage him when He went through trial after trial. Naomi had Ruth who said "I'll stand by you in your time of despair". The apostles had one another. Like minded friends to call upon to pray for each other.
I so desire to be that kind of person. One who will come along side another to encourage, to pray with, to cry or laugh with. I want to be a Ruth, that will listen and comfort; or a Jonathan a faithful friend; or an Aaron and Hur who gives physical help when it is needed. More importantly, I want to be a woman who reminds others that God has not forgotten them, that His promises are for all of us, that His mercies are new every morning and that HE loves us and will never leave us!
On July 14th at 6:00 a.m. we took Brooke off the ventilator so she could go to the bathroom. We then returned her to bed, hooked her back on to the ventilator, as she wanted to sleep a few more hours. All was well. We then went into the kitchen where I began to use our vitamix machine to make us some smoothies. If you have ever used one of those machines, you know they make alot of noise. In between throwing different fruits into the vitamixer, Tex, who's hearing is questionable at times, said "stop I hear something". We could hear a faint "beep, beep, beep". We run into Brooke's room and she is motioning that she is drowning. I quickly disconnect the ventilator, and Tex is ready with the ambu bag to give her oxygen. As soon as I disconnect the ventilator from the trach tube, water comes running out! Water. That had never happened before and no one told us this could happen. We suction her get her breathing well and proceed to figure out what happened. Tex has to go to work, so I am alone to make the calls and get answers. I call the Respiratory Technician. She says she will come out and check the ventilator. In the meantime, the RN who was assigned to us for follow up shows up at the door. She is there to make sure all is going well. I tell her what happened and she says she has never heard of water coming out of the trach when you disconnect the ventilator. The respiratory woman shows up and the two of them go over the machine - top to bottom. Nothing wrong. No way water could get in there. They determine something must be wrong with the tracheostomy - may be a crack in it - but where did the water come from? They suggest I call Brooke's pulmonologist and get her all checked out. I do that and he suggests I get her down to the emergency room at Pali Momi.
We are now in the ER at Pali Momi - after xrays, blood work and four hours of waiting for all to be done our doctor shows up and says he wants her to spend a couple nights for observation to see how she does off the ventilator. Wow! But she and I hunker down at pali momi. It's a long uncomfortable night as I am trying to sleep in Brooke's wheelchair with my legs propped up on a chair - very very uncomfortable.
I stay awake all night watching the monitors, listening to the rhythmic beep and an occasional alarm - but all goes well. The next morning at around 7:15 the doctor comes in and says according to all the stats from the previous night she had a remarkably great night! Praise the Lord! (that's me saying that not him) He tells her he feels that the ventilator and tracheostomy is causing her more problems than good and that if she wants, he feels very comfortable removing the trach - WHAT? Queens told us a minimum of 6 months but highly doubtful as they felt she would be on the ventilator at night for the rest of her life! Brooke agrees, for some reason (God I believe), kept my mouth shut. The doctor proceeds to take out the trach - it took less than 5 seconds. Brooke says is it done? He says yes , and she begins to weep. Tears rolling down her cheeks. He gets all worried and asks if anything is sore or wrong and she says "no, nothing is wrong, I just have my life back". The nurse and doctor are quiet and leave the room quickly. She and I just cry and rejoice!!!!
Since July 14th her oxygen level has been in the high 90's which is normal and remarkable. She has not had to have any oxygen, although we have a few tanks in our home. She is not on any medication. She is breathing on her own and doing light exercising like walking, stretching and tomorrow she goes into the pool! It is a miracle.
Here is my take on all this - the water that came out of that trach. No one can tell us where it came from or how it got in there, but remember Jesus is the Living Water. He healed her. If it wasn't for that water she would still be hooked up to all those machines. Water - living water - healing water.
So join us in rejoicing!
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