This election has filled me with disillusionments. Not that the candidates are so awful (that's a given not a disillusion to me). But that people I thought believed in the Word of God like I do are for a candidate that is for abortion. My heart grieves that I fellowship with people that are not like-minded. How can that be I ask myself. Have I been so blinded? Have I missed some of the signals showing me that they do not believe the Word of God is the Absolute truth? Did I miss opportunities to be salt in my brothers and sisters lives? I am grieved, I am grieved.
Social media has been a terrible way for us to express ourselves. Yes there are times we as believers put scripture out there, but is that our way of getting the truth out there or is that an easy way, nonconfrontational way, to share? Who wants confrontation? Who wants to be rejected? Who was disillusionments? I don't. I am tired of it. I want the Lord to come back now but His timing is not my timing and that's a good thing.
So what is HE showing me? That I assume to much and that causes roots in my thought life of defensiveness which can lead to disillusional thoughts and bitterness. Me bitter? Yep! Me defensive? Yep. You are too. We want to think that we have positive, christ-like thoughts but let someone disagree, challenge or say something insensitive and those hairs on the back of our necks perk up and those thoughts start a churning.
So to my children (because this is who this blog is really for), I say this, your mom is human but praise God, HE is not done with me. And HE is not done with you too. We are ALL sinners saved by grace. There is only one person who will never reject us, fail us or discourage us and that is Jesus Christ. Social media, friends on facebook, instagram, hollywood, government, etc will always disappoint us. Cling to Christ. Believe HIS Word
Monday, October 10, 2016
Monday, September 26, 2016
Grace
September 2016
"His wife said to him, "are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God & die". Job 2:9
No one wants to be remembered for words we utter when our stress levels are so high. Poor Mrs. Job. We remember her for these 12 words. I have been hearing sermons this past month, on grace and I got to thinking of Mrs. Job. Here is a lesson in grace....
If we take a step back and look honestly at all Job went through, we forget his wife went through those same trials. She is not the primary character of the Book of Job, but she was a part of what went on. First, in one day, she watched all 10 of her children die. I can imagine her thoughts, "ten times I have given birth, nursed each one, kissed their ten toes and fingers, watched them grow in our loving family". Feel her heart ache? Like most moms, she was probably the heart beat of the home. She gathered them together, fed them, rejoiced with them. Job was an esteemed man in society, so I believe she must have been very influential and an integral part of his life. Imagine the grief that enveloped her as she looked at the 10 freshly dug graves.
In one day she went from living very comfortably (Job is described as a wealthy man), to every material possession taken from her. In one day she lost it all! She is now homeless, penniless, all she has is the clothes she is wearing.
Then she becomes Jobs caregiver! Now there is a thankless job. Job is in excruciating pain, probably very cantankerous. We are told his trial nearly breaks Job's soul. What about her soul?
We don't read that Job began ministering to his wife. Is he tending to her needs? Is he comforting her? Is he thanking her?
Are you beginning to feel some empathy and compassion for her? Yes, she uttered those awful words, but can we give her some grace?
This past month I must admit, I lacked grace for some people, but God brought me back through Mrs. Job (I wonder what her name was?). Because I sought HIM, he taught me that although people don't always share about their trials, or it's not so evident the pain they are in, everyone has a story. Every one needs grace. Our part is to lavish the grace Jesus gives to us on others. No matter how difficult it may be, we are called to love, encourage and forgive. Let's hope grace will abound in overflowing amounts to all those God puts in our paths.
"His wife said to him, "are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God & die". Job 2:9
No one wants to be remembered for words we utter when our stress levels are so high. Poor Mrs. Job. We remember her for these 12 words. I have been hearing sermons this past month, on grace and I got to thinking of Mrs. Job. Here is a lesson in grace....
If we take a step back and look honestly at all Job went through, we forget his wife went through those same trials. She is not the primary character of the Book of Job, but she was a part of what went on. First, in one day, she watched all 10 of her children die. I can imagine her thoughts, "ten times I have given birth, nursed each one, kissed their ten toes and fingers, watched them grow in our loving family". Feel her heart ache? Like most moms, she was probably the heart beat of the home. She gathered them together, fed them, rejoiced with them. Job was an esteemed man in society, so I believe she must have been very influential and an integral part of his life. Imagine the grief that enveloped her as she looked at the 10 freshly dug graves.
In one day she went from living very comfortably (Job is described as a wealthy man), to every material possession taken from her. In one day she lost it all! She is now homeless, penniless, all she has is the clothes she is wearing.
Then she becomes Jobs caregiver! Now there is a thankless job. Job is in excruciating pain, probably very cantankerous. We are told his trial nearly breaks Job's soul. What about her soul?
We don't read that Job began ministering to his wife. Is he tending to her needs? Is he comforting her? Is he thanking her?
Are you beginning to feel some empathy and compassion for her? Yes, she uttered those awful words, but can we give her some grace?
This past month I must admit, I lacked grace for some people, but God brought me back through Mrs. Job (I wonder what her name was?). Because I sought HIM, he taught me that although people don't always share about their trials, or it's not so evident the pain they are in, everyone has a story. Every one needs grace. Our part is to lavish the grace Jesus gives to us on others. No matter how difficult it may be, we are called to love, encourage and forgive. Let's hope grace will abound in overflowing amounts to all those God puts in our paths.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
It was harder than I thought
June 26, 2016
I didn't think I would be blogging so soon, but here I am. I wrote yesterday of all the momentos and treasures I was keeping in my koa chest. Today, is our 40th wedding anniversary and I decided it was time to go through this 12x12 box I kept all these papers from Jeremy's death. There were the death certificates, autopsy report, police reports, news articles, many condolence cards, letters from people all over the place. What do we need to keep and what can we now bring ourselves to let go of.
It wasn't easy. Tex built a fire in our little outdoor firepit and we both sat there, reading through all the condolence cards and letters. So many thoughtful comments, it reminded me how sad it is that email and texting have replaced sending cards. They mean so much more.
One by one I read through them. Some I couldn't remember who the people were, but I was still grateful they sent those messages. Tears filled my eyes and my heart ached. After all this time, I still grieve for my son.
It wasn't easy watching a fire consume all those papers. Thoughts taking me back to that firey crash. His body laying on the side of the road. Me not being there to comfort him. Him dying alone in the emergency room. I want the fire to consume my thoughts. I don't want to go there any more, but yet my son is always a part of me.
Lord, consume me with your holy fire. Help me to remember all your promises. You hold us in the palm of Your hands, You love us with an everlasting love, You fill us with hope, Your love consumes us just as the flames consume those papers! My hope is in You.
I don't know what others do without the Lord. I could not have survived all these years without God's promises and the fact that one day, my son and I will be reunited in heaven. Peace everlasting, no more tears, no more sorrow, just an all consuming love.
I didn't think I would be blogging so soon, but here I am. I wrote yesterday of all the momentos and treasures I was keeping in my koa chest. Today, is our 40th wedding anniversary and I decided it was time to go through this 12x12 box I kept all these papers from Jeremy's death. There were the death certificates, autopsy report, police reports, news articles, many condolence cards, letters from people all over the place. What do we need to keep and what can we now bring ourselves to let go of.
It wasn't easy. Tex built a fire in our little outdoor firepit and we both sat there, reading through all the condolence cards and letters. So many thoughtful comments, it reminded me how sad it is that email and texting have replaced sending cards. They mean so much more.
One by one I read through them. Some I couldn't remember who the people were, but I was still grateful they sent those messages. Tears filled my eyes and my heart ached. After all this time, I still grieve for my son.
It wasn't easy watching a fire consume all those papers. Thoughts taking me back to that firey crash. His body laying on the side of the road. Me not being there to comfort him. Him dying alone in the emergency room. I want the fire to consume my thoughts. I don't want to go there any more, but yet my son is always a part of me.
Lord, consume me with your holy fire. Help me to remember all your promises. You hold us in the palm of Your hands, You love us with an everlasting love, You fill us with hope, Your love consumes us just as the flames consume those papers! My hope is in You.
I don't know what others do without the Lord. I could not have survived all these years without God's promises and the fact that one day, my son and I will be reunited in heaven. Peace everlasting, no more tears, no more sorrow, just an all consuming love.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
A Chest of Memories
June 25, 2016
I have a big koa chest in my home where I put cherished items into. Hoping one day my children will want to have them and treasure them as I do. Today, I had my husband move the chest from our bedroom to the living room. The reason I decided to have it moved is because it is a beautiful piece of koa furniture. I want everyone to enjoy the beauty of it. Before we could bring it downstairs (it's quite heavy) we had to empty it out. I had not realized how much stuff I was accumulating. Little story books, Brooke's cabbage patch dolls from the 80's (she tells me they are worth something), Trey's little league and popwarner jersey's,pictures, etc. Brooke's girl scout vest with all her patches! Things I treasure and kept from Jeremy. There was more. An american flag with 48 stars from Tex's fathers memorial service.
As I went through each item, the memories flooded back. Especially the box labeled "Jeremy". Inside this box were all the condolence cards given to us, the newspaper articles of the tragic accident, his wallet, some things from high school, his last year book. Seems like yesterday. I began wondering if it's about time to get rid of some of these things. Memories of Jeremy will never leave me, unless alzheimers sets in, but are these things really treasures. Will Brooke and Trey want them- I doubt it.
I remember Tex and his sister going through their mom's things after she passed away. The things she thought were so dear to her, they didn't feel the same way. So why do we hang on to things?
I began to ask myself, "why are you holding on to these things"?? Why not frame some and put them out for others to enjoy, like that 48 star flag? Why not get rid of those condolence cards, but of course read them all one last time. It is time to say goodbye to those. The news articles of the accident, I think I will let Brooke and Trey read them and then decide if they want them. I remember every bit of information from those articles. They will never leave my mind. Memorabilia is ok for a while I have determined, but now it is time to clean it out. God has new things for me, He says so in His Word "Do not ponder things of the past, behold I am going to do something new with you. Will you not be aware of it? Isaiah" I can't see the something new if I am cluttered with stuff from the past.
So today I am taking a giant step. I am cleaning out that chest. I wonder what new things God will have me put in from time to time. I am excited to see the "Something New" He has for me.
I have a big koa chest in my home where I put cherished items into. Hoping one day my children will want to have them and treasure them as I do. Today, I had my husband move the chest from our bedroom to the living room. The reason I decided to have it moved is because it is a beautiful piece of koa furniture. I want everyone to enjoy the beauty of it. Before we could bring it downstairs (it's quite heavy) we had to empty it out. I had not realized how much stuff I was accumulating. Little story books, Brooke's cabbage patch dolls from the 80's (she tells me they are worth something), Trey's little league and popwarner jersey's,pictures, etc. Brooke's girl scout vest with all her patches! Things I treasure and kept from Jeremy. There was more. An american flag with 48 stars from Tex's fathers memorial service.
As I went through each item, the memories flooded back. Especially the box labeled "Jeremy". Inside this box were all the condolence cards given to us, the newspaper articles of the tragic accident, his wallet, some things from high school, his last year book. Seems like yesterday. I began wondering if it's about time to get rid of some of these things. Memories of Jeremy will never leave me, unless alzheimers sets in, but are these things really treasures. Will Brooke and Trey want them- I doubt it.
I remember Tex and his sister going through their mom's things after she passed away. The things she thought were so dear to her, they didn't feel the same way. So why do we hang on to things?
I began to ask myself, "why are you holding on to these things"?? Why not frame some and put them out for others to enjoy, like that 48 star flag? Why not get rid of those condolence cards, but of course read them all one last time. It is time to say goodbye to those. The news articles of the accident, I think I will let Brooke and Trey read them and then decide if they want them. I remember every bit of information from those articles. They will never leave my mind. Memorabilia is ok for a while I have determined, but now it is time to clean it out. God has new things for me, He says so in His Word "Do not ponder things of the past, behold I am going to do something new with you. Will you not be aware of it? Isaiah" I can't see the something new if I am cluttered with stuff from the past.
So today I am taking a giant step. I am cleaning out that chest. I wonder what new things God will have me put in from time to time. I am excited to see the "Something New" He has for me.
Monday, January 25, 2016
God at a Chicago Concert??
Tex, Brooke and I recently attended a concert with the group Chicago. Before the concert, I saw Brooke reading something on her phone. She told me she was catching up on some of her reading homework for college. She said she was reading about grace. Little did I know God was going to teach me about grace during this concert.
The music was loud, the atmosphere was pulsating, the lights were flashing. We were clapping, singing and laughing. Some in the crowd were yelling. We were having a good time with Brooke. I looked over at her and my heart broke into a million pieces. My eyes began to fill with tears. We were all clapping and she was trying so hard to join in the clapping. You see her right hand is nearly closed into a fist. Only her index finger and thumb work. Her left hand cannot rotate in any direction, it just lays flat. She put her left hand down flat on her wheelchair table and took that disfigured right fist and started "clapping" in her style. Hitting that fist against the top of her left hand. She was trying to sway to the music like all of us, but her body is so stiff all you could see was a slight movement in her upper body. But she was smiling.
As I watched her, I went from laughter to anger, then to sorrow. My eyes scanned the room. Everyone was having a good time. But I began to wrestle with God. "She's only 35, can't you the great physician, the healer, make her physically whole. Why does she have to suffer so?"
The music played on loudly, the light show was awesome and then the crowd turned on their cell phone flashlights throughout the arena. Hundreds of little bright lights encompassed the darkness and then God spoke clearly to me....
"And He said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.
Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of
Christ may dwell in me". 2Co. 12:9
His grace is sufficient. He has a plan. Bet you thought I didn't have those type of thoughts. Well remember in Job where satan says he patrols the earth, watching everything going on (Job 1:7). There is an enemy that never takes time off. He wants to cause doubt, inject fear and allow discouragement. Satan does that with me too. But my God is powerful and because I have purposed in my heart to learn His Word, He calls it to mind whenever I need it.
Believe in His Word. Hide it in your hearts so when satan patrols your life you can stand firm against
his schemes. Isn't our God wonderful? Even in a rip-roaring concert He speaks!
The music was loud, the atmosphere was pulsating, the lights were flashing. We were clapping, singing and laughing. Some in the crowd were yelling. We were having a good time with Brooke. I looked over at her and my heart broke into a million pieces. My eyes began to fill with tears. We were all clapping and she was trying so hard to join in the clapping. You see her right hand is nearly closed into a fist. Only her index finger and thumb work. Her left hand cannot rotate in any direction, it just lays flat. She put her left hand down flat on her wheelchair table and took that disfigured right fist and started "clapping" in her style. Hitting that fist against the top of her left hand. She was trying to sway to the music like all of us, but her body is so stiff all you could see was a slight movement in her upper body. But she was smiling.
As I watched her, I went from laughter to anger, then to sorrow. My eyes scanned the room. Everyone was having a good time. But I began to wrestle with God. "She's only 35, can't you the great physician, the healer, make her physically whole. Why does she have to suffer so?"
The music played on loudly, the light show was awesome and then the crowd turned on their cell phone flashlights throughout the arena. Hundreds of little bright lights encompassed the darkness and then God spoke clearly to me....
"And He said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.
Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of
Christ may dwell in me". 2Co. 12:9
His grace is sufficient. He has a plan. Bet you thought I didn't have those type of thoughts. Well remember in Job where satan says he patrols the earth, watching everything going on (Job 1:7). There is an enemy that never takes time off. He wants to cause doubt, inject fear and allow discouragement. Satan does that with me too. But my God is powerful and because I have purposed in my heart to learn His Word, He calls it to mind whenever I need it.
Believe in His Word. Hide it in your hearts so when satan patrols your life you can stand firm against
his schemes. Isn't our God wonderful? Even in a rip-roaring concert He speaks!
Monday, December 28, 2015
Have I Turned Into the Grinch????
I have never liked the story "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas", but this Christmas I found myself saying "bah humbug" one too many times. It started with me getting excited about having a new kitchen that is the perfect kitchen to bake goodies! I had this plan of "blessing" people with those goodies. My first endeavor went off great. I had so much fun until I gave out those goodies. I heard remarks like "oh we don't do sugar any more", or this one (nervous laugh from a mom) "oh no my kids don't need these", and those were just a few of several more. Bah Humbug - that black cloud that you can see and feel above the Grinch descended upon me. So after one baking session, I stopped! Yep, no more baking. I put away all those ingredients and all that pretty packaging I bought and I sat there so discouraged. I so needed to be ENCOURAGED.
Then I thought, baking failed, so I will invite people over for dinner. Just to enjoy visiting with friends. As soon as I started talking about it I got responses like "I'm gluten free now", "just turned vegetarian", "it's grain free for us", or "only eat grain fed beef"! Gee people lighten up, can for one night just come over and eat a little without putting restrictions on your host? What happen to enjoying the company? I have a restrictive diet, but I never say to anyone inviting me over that they have to change their agenda for me. Unless it's life threatening we need to loosen up.
Do you see and hear the Grinch in me??? UGH! So I didn't have anyone over - nope not a one.
And then the big finale - gift giving. After the baking and dinner fiascos I was real hesitant in this area. You give someone a gift and here it comes...."Oh I won't use it", or like a remark a dear friend made as I handed her a wrapped bottle of some very good OLIVE OIL, she commented "oh I don't drink" - she thought it was wine, as if I would have given her a bottle of wine when I knew they don't enjoy a glass every now and then. All those gift receivers should have done was take the gift and say thank you. In fact thats what all those anti-sugar people should've said "thank you". Emily Post would have been proud of all those people. Simple manners.
I don't want to be the Grinch, so how can I have an attitude of gratitude? I went to the Father and asked him to change my heart towards those who didn't realize I need encouragement too. He said, the fields are filled with those who need a goody, a dinner or a gift. It doesn't have to be the same ones all the time. Hmmm, that makes sense. So I am praying, opening my eyes and asking Him to put those who need a special gift, some fellowship or even something sweet. Be on the look out - it may be you!
Then I thought, baking failed, so I will invite people over for dinner. Just to enjoy visiting with friends. As soon as I started talking about it I got responses like "I'm gluten free now", "just turned vegetarian", "it's grain free for us", or "only eat grain fed beef"! Gee people lighten up, can for one night just come over and eat a little without putting restrictions on your host? What happen to enjoying the company? I have a restrictive diet, but I never say to anyone inviting me over that they have to change their agenda for me. Unless it's life threatening we need to loosen up.
Do you see and hear the Grinch in me??? UGH! So I didn't have anyone over - nope not a one.
And then the big finale - gift giving. After the baking and dinner fiascos I was real hesitant in this area. You give someone a gift and here it comes...."Oh I won't use it", or like a remark a dear friend made as I handed her a wrapped bottle of some very good OLIVE OIL, she commented "oh I don't drink" - she thought it was wine, as if I would have given her a bottle of wine when I knew they don't enjoy a glass every now and then. All those gift receivers should have done was take the gift and say thank you. In fact thats what all those anti-sugar people should've said "thank you". Emily Post would have been proud of all those people. Simple manners.
I don't want to be the Grinch, so how can I have an attitude of gratitude? I went to the Father and asked him to change my heart towards those who didn't realize I need encouragement too. He said, the fields are filled with those who need a goody, a dinner or a gift. It doesn't have to be the same ones all the time. Hmmm, that makes sense. So I am praying, opening my eyes and asking Him to put those who need a special gift, some fellowship or even something sweet. Be on the look out - it may be you!
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Are You Listening
"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart". Ezekiel 36:26
I just finished having a 7 week Bible study at my home. The topic was The Armor of God. During one of our discussion sessions, a young woman shared the above scripture. As she read the words, I knew God was reminding me of how He took my heart and transformed it! Its been just a little over 4 months since a surgeon was trying to fix my sick heart. He was putting in two new arteries so I would have a stronger heart. A heart that would beat without interruption. A heart that would sustain my life. While the surgeon physically fixed my heart, God had a total different plan for those stony, stubborn parts that had rooted itself in my heart. God began flooding my heart with a new love for His people. It was during my second stay in the hospital that I finally said "I surrender, show me what You want me to do. I want to glorify You". As I prayed and sought counsel through His Word, HE began to show me and lead me to those He had chosen. One by one they would come into my hospital room. A nurse, an aide, housekeeping, the food staff and oh yes, doctors. God told me to tell each one that He wanted them to use the gifts He had blessed them with, and that He was pleased when He saw them using those gifts to help the people He created. Tell them of my love for them, tell them of all the gifts I have available for them - forgiveness, mercy, kindness, goodness, salvation. It was exhilarating to see how responsive and open people were to kind words and how thrilled they were that God was pleased with them. Out of everyone I shared with, only two were not believers. Those two got the gospel.
It it was on my last day at the hospital that I was tired, and those stony, stubborn parts were taking root again! I wanted to be released but there was one person I had been avoiding sharing God's message with. She was a doctor, very professional, not much of a talker. I could feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to share God's message. I knew God wasn't going to let me go,so I swallowed hard, and when she came into the room I asked her if she went to church. She said she hadn't been to church in a while because she worked on Sunday but she missed going. I told her I was sorry she didn't get to fellowship with other believers. That God wanted her to know that He was pleased that she used the gifts He blessed her with to help bring comfort to His people in this hospital. Tears welled up in her eyes, she thanked me for sharing and reminding her how much God loved her. She allowed me to pray over her and when we were done, she cried.
A few words of encouragement meant so much to each of the people I came in contact with. Had I not listened to God I would have missed the blessing. Isn't God gracious that He used me to encourage some of His people and in return it encouraged me during a trying time? Are you listening to HIM? Is He telling you something but perhaps you are running away, or digging your heels in and being stubborn? Surrender, listen and obey. You'll be surprised how much joy it brings!
I just finished having a 7 week Bible study at my home. The topic was The Armor of God. During one of our discussion sessions, a young woman shared the above scripture. As she read the words, I knew God was reminding me of how He took my heart and transformed it! Its been just a little over 4 months since a surgeon was trying to fix my sick heart. He was putting in two new arteries so I would have a stronger heart. A heart that would beat without interruption. A heart that would sustain my life. While the surgeon physically fixed my heart, God had a total different plan for those stony, stubborn parts that had rooted itself in my heart. God began flooding my heart with a new love for His people. It was during my second stay in the hospital that I finally said "I surrender, show me what You want me to do. I want to glorify You". As I prayed and sought counsel through His Word, HE began to show me and lead me to those He had chosen. One by one they would come into my hospital room. A nurse, an aide, housekeeping, the food staff and oh yes, doctors. God told me to tell each one that He wanted them to use the gifts He had blessed them with, and that He was pleased when He saw them using those gifts to help the people He created. Tell them of my love for them, tell them of all the gifts I have available for them - forgiveness, mercy, kindness, goodness, salvation. It was exhilarating to see how responsive and open people were to kind words and how thrilled they were that God was pleased with them. Out of everyone I shared with, only two were not believers. Those two got the gospel.
It it was on my last day at the hospital that I was tired, and those stony, stubborn parts were taking root again! I wanted to be released but there was one person I had been avoiding sharing God's message with. She was a doctor, very professional, not much of a talker. I could feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to share God's message. I knew God wasn't going to let me go,so I swallowed hard, and when she came into the room I asked her if she went to church. She said she hadn't been to church in a while because she worked on Sunday but she missed going. I told her I was sorry she didn't get to fellowship with other believers. That God wanted her to know that He was pleased that she used the gifts He blessed her with to help bring comfort to His people in this hospital. Tears welled up in her eyes, she thanked me for sharing and reminding her how much God loved her. She allowed me to pray over her and when we were done, she cried.
A few words of encouragement meant so much to each of the people I came in contact with. Had I not listened to God I would have missed the blessing. Isn't God gracious that He used me to encourage some of His people and in return it encouraged me during a trying time? Are you listening to HIM? Is He telling you something but perhaps you are running away, or digging your heels in and being stubborn? Surrender, listen and obey. You'll be surprised how much joy it brings!
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