Here it is, the end of 2012. Didn't it just seem like we stepped into 2012 and here we are getting ready to ring in 2013! When I was younger, I used to roll my eyes when someone would say time is going by so fast. But, now as I have more years behind me than in front of me, it truly does appear that time is racing by.
I close this year realizing that 2012 was a year of learning to trust God more and more. By learning I really mean God thrust me into situations where I needed to totally trust Him. Some of the situations He allowed in my life I willingly trusted Him. Other situations, fear encapsulated me, doubt rang through my mind and God had to push me and prod me into trusting Him. Those are the moments I felt Him thrusting me into trusting Him.
I will let you in on one of those moments. After my two heart attacks in January and February, this rang through my mind over and over again...."Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep". That was my nightly prayer before I would close my eyes each night. The fear of will I awake for another day on earth, or will I be taken to be with the Lord is ever on my mind. You know how we casually say "can't wait for the Lord to return, or I'm ready to go home to the Lord" and we chuckle, "I'm ready, I'm ready", but let me tell you, when you are face to face with the idea of stepping into eternity there is a reluctance. Not of seeing and being with God, but of leaving those you love behind. Let's all go together, that would be ideal, but that's not usually the case. So every night I was thrust into trusting that God knows best and that "If I should die before I wake", I trusted God would , "pray the Lord my soul to take".
Thrust into trusting and letting go of fear. Not easy for someone who loves to be in control but still learning that God is in control. So I end 2012 with this to all of you...the one constant we can trust fully and depend on 100% is God and God alone, no one else. Friends come and go, children grow up and leave home, BUT God will never leave you. Relationships disappoint you, BUT God will never disappoint you. Loneliness may creep in BUT God is always present in your life. No one to talk to? God is readily available 24/7 to listen. Confused by the media (what is the truth?), God's Word is the absolute truth and brings comfort. What will 2013 bring to all of us? I am praying we will devote more time to HIM!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
Interruptions & Inconveniences
I haven't blogged in a while. I really didn't have anything significant to share. I mean I don't want to bore you with just trivial jibberish. My life is not all that interesting, but, when God shows or teaches me something, then I want to share.
I have been staying home a lot more since the two heart attacks. Something about those heart attacks have made me more "cautious". It's also made me more contemplative. I look at life so differently. I've noticed that the things I value or cherish are different. I want my time on earth to mean something. I don't want to just do life, I want to experience life. Sound corny? Like an ad for some life coach class? I know. But believe me, when you are closer to death than you ever thought, it is life changing.
So in my pondering moments; re-evaluating, God reminded me again of something He taught me years ago. I will share it with you as He said, "It is time".
One day several years ago, I was asked to share at a women's function our church was putting together. I had all these notes sprawled out over the dining room table. Various books were opened to the subject I was to speak on. I was working diligently putting this verse here, grabbing that portion from this book there. Erasing, crossing out, adding in. I was frustrated. Things were not gelling together as I had hoped. My husband comes into the room and asks me to go to lunch with him and Brooke. "Lunch? Are you crazy? I have to speak tomorrow and I don't have anything worthwhile to share!", I growl. Yes, I do growl occasionally. Then the phone rings - again! Another interruption, another inconvenience. This is it, I mumble to myself. It's one of those telemarketers - well I will give them an earful about inconveniencing me!
Before I say "hello", the Holy Spirit speaks to my heart..."There are no interruptions and no inconveniences, just divine appointments". What? Are you kidding? I say hello and the guy, I still remember his name till today, Jonathan, goes into his rehearsed course on getting their great credit card. I listen, all the while the Holy Spirit is reminding me..."no interruptions, no inconveniences". I so want to interrupt Jonathan and hang up but the Holy Spirit is now prompting me more and more. Jonathan ends his speech and I tell him I'm not interested BUT (and this is totally the Holy Spirit speaking) I then ask him if I could pray with him. Jonathan gets real quiet, and says ok. The prayer God gave me was one reminding Jonathan that God loved and cherished him. That he was created in the image of God and that God wanted him to know that there was an abundant life waiting for him. Then I prayed that Jonathan would find favor with all the people he spoke with that day and that he would be successful in his endeavors. I ended my prayer, in Jesus' name. Then there was silence......
I just kept quiet (which is hard for me!). Then Jonathan speaks through choked tears...he thanks me for the prayer. He says no one has ever prayed for him before. I hang up the phone. I have just had an experience with God. I am shaking and I begin to cry (as I type this recollection it still brings tears to my eyes). A simple prayer, over the phone with someone I did not know and will never see, gave a person hope.
I went back to my speech for the women's function and lo and behold it came together within a few minutes! A God moment. The words He wanted me to share for that day was all written down, ready to be shared, just like that! Isn't that so like God.
So what did I learn? There are no interruptions or inconveniences. In fact, you cannot find those two words in the Bible! Why? Because God ordains our every step, our every call, our every encounter. When we are obedient, we also get the blessing ! So I leave you with this, in this "caller ID" age, the next time the phone rings and you are "busy", remember, there are no interruptions or no inconveniences, this call was sent to you from God.
I love you all.....
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Silence Is Golden
Silence.....it is something I need. It is something I covet. The complete quietness where you only hear the wind rustling through the trees is necessary for me to feel rested and at peace. A quietness where you can read something once and absorb its meaning. A quietness that allows you to feel every breath you take and the constant rhythm of your beating heart.
Many times I sit in that sacred silence and enjoy reading Gods Word. My fingers touch a passage and it is in that silence, that stillness, that I feel His presence. His Holy Spirit speaks---brkbrkbrk--STOP---that's not the Holy Spirit! There is a break in my quiet. A loud, whirring noise. Brkbrkbrkbrk . I open my eyes and there it is less than 500 feet above me, a noisy, big helicopter speeding by. The faster it goes the noisier it becomes. I close my eyes as is passes by, wishing it away and trying to get that silence back. Even when it passes our home I can still hear it; not as loud, but the quietness I was enjoying is gone. I try to grasp for the silence and then the helicopter comes again. Going over us back to where it came from. Loud, obnoxious. In the span of an hour that helicopter, with something dangling from it, passes over me at least 4 times. Irritated I close Gods Word and my eyes. I just sit there. "Lord, I long to hear from You. I need to feel Your presence".
The noise returns. I press into His Word again, asking Him to speak to me. Can He hear me with all the noise? My concentration deepens, "focus, focus on The Word". "Call upon His name". I persevere, pressing on. It seems like forever. I feel as if I have used up all my energy, concentrating, focusing on Him. Then He speaks......
"You hear Me when you are comfortable; but it is when you are out of your
comfortableness that you truly see Me, that you truly need Me. Learn to hear
and see Me in all circumstances"
I have learned a valuable lesson.
God is omnipotent....all powerful
God is omniscience....all knowing and today I learn,
God is omnipresent...all around me, in the quiet and in the noise
In the chaos, in our pain, in our loneliness, in the pleasantness, in our illness, in the fear, in the poverty in the rich, in the uncertainty, in the love, in the____________(you fill in the blank). God is there. Look for Him, call out to Him.
Guess what ? The wind outside has picked up quite a bit and now a heavy shower as descended! The quietness has returned as the helicopter can't fly in this! Thank you, God!
Many times I sit in that sacred silence and enjoy reading Gods Word. My fingers touch a passage and it is in that silence, that stillness, that I feel His presence. His Holy Spirit speaks---brkbrkbrk--STOP---that's not the Holy Spirit! There is a break in my quiet. A loud, whirring noise. Brkbrkbrkbrk . I open my eyes and there it is less than 500 feet above me, a noisy, big helicopter speeding by. The faster it goes the noisier it becomes. I close my eyes as is passes by, wishing it away and trying to get that silence back. Even when it passes our home I can still hear it; not as loud, but the quietness I was enjoying is gone. I try to grasp for the silence and then the helicopter comes again. Going over us back to where it came from. Loud, obnoxious. In the span of an hour that helicopter, with something dangling from it, passes over me at least 4 times. Irritated I close Gods Word and my eyes. I just sit there. "Lord, I long to hear from You. I need to feel Your presence".
The noise returns. I press into His Word again, asking Him to speak to me. Can He hear me with all the noise? My concentration deepens, "focus, focus on The Word". "Call upon His name". I persevere, pressing on. It seems like forever. I feel as if I have used up all my energy, concentrating, focusing on Him. Then He speaks......
"You hear Me when you are comfortable; but it is when you are out of your
comfortableness that you truly see Me, that you truly need Me. Learn to hear
and see Me in all circumstances"
I have learned a valuable lesson.
God is omnipotent....all powerful
God is omniscience....all knowing and today I learn,
God is omnipresent...all around me, in the quiet and in the noise
In the chaos, in our pain, in our loneliness, in the pleasantness, in our illness, in the fear, in the poverty in the rich, in the uncertainty, in the love, in the____________(you fill in the blank). God is there. Look for Him, call out to Him.
Guess what ? The wind outside has picked up quite a bit and now a heavy shower as descended! The quietness has returned as the helicopter can't fly in this! Thank you, God!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
The Miracle
It is a little over one week since we left the Mayo Clinic. We are settling in to a new routine of sorts. I am still overwhelmed by all God has done. All of you reading this blog are part of the miracle God has done with Brooke.
Remember back in July 2011 when I wrote about the alarm going off on her tracheotomy machine? And how when we took off the oxygen hose attached to her trach that clear water came gushing out? That was the first miracle from the Lord. No one had ever seen anything like this happen - no nurse, no doctor, no respiratory technician. No one could explain to us what had happened. But we saw it - clear water. I called it the "living water", but the miracle of it all escaped me until this evening. That was God preparing us for this miracle.
On May 11, 2012 while sitting in the cardiologist office at the Mayo Clinic, we were given some wonderful news. All the tests they did showed that Brooke did not have any signs of severe pulmonary hypertension; the pressure levels in her lungs were normal (like you and me) and there was no sign of any leakage in her heart. Her heart looked good. She did not need any medicine nor a heart lung transplant. Please remember we were just told in Hawaii that she had all of the above and there was nothing more they could do for her - thus the trip to the Mayo Clinic. The doctors in Hawaii did not misdiagnose her. The tests they did do not lie. They are very competent doctors and we trust them. But we also know that what we were being told was "impossible". The doctors at the Mayo Clinic had all the reports and pictures, and film of all the angiograms. When I asked him what happened, he said "he didn't know". I asked had this happened before? He had never seen this before. We sat in silence - Tex & Brooke started crying, I was at a loss for words (funny huh? Me at a loss for words).
God heard our prayers. HE heard our cries and HE stepped in and healed her. There is no other explanation. Isn't it wonderful!? You all are a part of this healing because you have faithfully prayed for Brooke. God used all of us. HE allowed each of us to be a part of this present day miracle. HE doesn't want us to forget this, HE wants this to change our lives as we face other trials. HE wants us to tell the world that HE is to be glorified through this healing. It isn't about Brooke or us, it's about HIM.
I recall 30 years ago, kneeling in my bedroom at Sunset Beach and crying to God that He would heal Brooke. She was so ill , had just had open heart surgery and now was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. I remember so vividly sobbing and asking Him to heal her and I remember how a peace flooded over me that to this day I cannot explain that feeling. I heard Him say He was going to take care of her. I also remember a little over 15 years ago Pastor Dan was visiting from India. He began praying over each person at a Bible Study we were attending. He touched Tex and said, "some day there will be a healing in your family". I share with you these two memorable moments because when I heard those words from the doctor that she no longer had severe pulmonary hypertension , God brought those two moments to my mind. HE was reminding me that HE was in control of all of this.
The timing was HIS not mine.
I can barely type this as my body begins to tremble when I recall God touched Brooke and HE has allowed all of us to see His power and feel His mercy.
Please remember to thank Him for being who He says He is. "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27
It is a little over one week since we left the Mayo Clinic. We are settling in to a new routine of sorts. I am still overwhelmed by all God has done. All of you reading this blog are part of the miracle God has done with Brooke.
Remember back in July 2011 when I wrote about the alarm going off on her tracheotomy machine? And how when we took off the oxygen hose attached to her trach that clear water came gushing out? That was the first miracle from the Lord. No one had ever seen anything like this happen - no nurse, no doctor, no respiratory technician. No one could explain to us what had happened. But we saw it - clear water. I called it the "living water", but the miracle of it all escaped me until this evening. That was God preparing us for this miracle.
On May 11, 2012 while sitting in the cardiologist office at the Mayo Clinic, we were given some wonderful news. All the tests they did showed that Brooke did not have any signs of severe pulmonary hypertension; the pressure levels in her lungs were normal (like you and me) and there was no sign of any leakage in her heart. Her heart looked good. She did not need any medicine nor a heart lung transplant. Please remember we were just told in Hawaii that she had all of the above and there was nothing more they could do for her - thus the trip to the Mayo Clinic. The doctors in Hawaii did not misdiagnose her. The tests they did do not lie. They are very competent doctors and we trust them. But we also know that what we were being told was "impossible". The doctors at the Mayo Clinic had all the reports and pictures, and film of all the angiograms. When I asked him what happened, he said "he didn't know". I asked had this happened before? He had never seen this before. We sat in silence - Tex & Brooke started crying, I was at a loss for words (funny huh? Me at a loss for words).
God heard our prayers. HE heard our cries and HE stepped in and healed her. There is no other explanation. Isn't it wonderful!? You all are a part of this healing because you have faithfully prayed for Brooke. God used all of us. HE allowed each of us to be a part of this present day miracle. HE doesn't want us to forget this, HE wants this to change our lives as we face other trials. HE wants us to tell the world that HE is to be glorified through this healing. It isn't about Brooke or us, it's about HIM.
I recall 30 years ago, kneeling in my bedroom at Sunset Beach and crying to God that He would heal Brooke. She was so ill , had just had open heart surgery and now was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. I remember so vividly sobbing and asking Him to heal her and I remember how a peace flooded over me that to this day I cannot explain that feeling. I heard Him say He was going to take care of her. I also remember a little over 15 years ago Pastor Dan was visiting from India. He began praying over each person at a Bible Study we were attending. He touched Tex and said, "some day there will be a healing in your family". I share with you these two memorable moments because when I heard those words from the doctor that she no longer had severe pulmonary hypertension , God brought those two moments to my mind. HE was reminding me that HE was in control of all of this.
The timing was HIS not mine.
I can barely type this as my body begins to tremble when I recall God touched Brooke and HE has allowed all of us to see His power and feel His mercy.
Please remember to thank Him for being who He says He is. "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
The latest on our Journey
After seeing a cardiologist, pulmonologist, catherization doctors, and numerous X-rays, today we saw a physical medicine doctor. We also met a young girl from kaimuki, Kelly Nakamura, who is graduating from Mayo medical school this weekend and heading to John Hopkins medical center for her residency. THis afternoon we see a rheumatologist. The physical medicine doctor is ordering all kinds of tests and consults so we will be here another week. As much as we want to be home, we know we must make the most of our time here. So we are hunkering down for another week sharing the same room which makes for interesting conversation! We have been getting along being together 24/7 but this coming week will be the real test.
Sitting with the physical medicine doctor and hearing for the first time all the things she saw through the X-rays anD all her concerns about the stability in Brooke's neck was unsettling BUT we are trusting in our Lord for peace and direction. The is so much to share here but I will wait till we get back home to share in more depth.
We met David in the physical medicine department who is from Sudan and is one of the lost boys. We gave him a He>i sticker. Such a pleasant grateful young man. Would love to sit and talk with him more. Hope God affords us an opportunity.
So prayer requests would be - good news from all the therapists, doctors, etc. looking at Brooke over the next week.
Also, direction and clarity in all our decision making, Peace and harmony.
Love,
Sharon
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Journey Continues & I Miss My Best Friend
Our first day at Mayo went really well. All appointments were on time,everyone was nice. It is unbelievable how organized they are with the amount of people they are seeing. The weather is very cool 50s and 60s with blue skies. The people who live here are soooo happy that the weather is beautiful. Of course Brooke and I are freezing. Wish I had my uggs. Tomorrow will be one more test and the consult with the doctor.
Now about my best friend. I miss him so much. I decided to leave behind my thick bible and go electronic - ugh! I have taken him everywhere. I have wonderful notes and dates. I can find scripture quickly. I miss him. I don't care what anyone says going electronically isn't the same. I feel disconnected. I gave my bible to my son Trey because told me so. Join me in praying that he will open it and see how many times his name is in it. I wonder what God will do with my precious bible?
Stay tuned for more of the journey.
Monday, May 7, 2012
The Journey
Today we are on a journey. We are taking Brooke to the Mayo Clinic to see if they have any treatments that will prolong her days with us and make them better. I will try to update on this blog site from my Ipad, but you know technology. When they sell you the stuff they say it can do all these wonderful things, then you're alone with the little critter and it doesn't do what they said it would!
Pray for us. It will take two plane rides and a 2 hour car ride to get to our destination. We are excited to see what God does as He's taking us on this journey. Join us through prayers, thoughts and hopefully through this posting.
love, sharon
Today we are on a journey. We are taking Brooke to the Mayo Clinic to see if they have any treatments that will prolong her days with us and make them better. I will try to update on this blog site from my Ipad, but you know technology. When they sell you the stuff they say it can do all these wonderful things, then you're alone with the little critter and it doesn't do what they said it would!
Pray for us. It will take two plane rides and a 2 hour car ride to get to our destination. We are excited to see what God does as He's taking us on this journey. Join us through prayers, thoughts and hopefully through this posting.
love, sharon
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